i miss you!

"He told me, his tired of waiting. He has no idea that I am tired than he was. Tired of waking up without him, tired of sleeping in my bed without him at my side. I am tired of crying when I am down bcoz YOU are not here to keep my spirit alive. I am tired bein' away from YOU! I want you so bad. I miss you so much. :( " iloveyou

Hearts Day with Friends!

Febuary 14, it was hearts day again. No love ones beside us... yeah, i called it VALENTINES WITHOUT YOU!

I'm with my friends last valentines day. It was a happy night with them, I enjoy and no regrets being with them. I choose to hang out rather than pouring some rain from my eyes.

Yeah, you know veradik when I am so dramatic... no limits of tears flowing. This time my valentines most likely im alive, no more tears I tried not to cry but still I cried.

After the night, as went home and tried to sleep... I can't still help my self but to cry, missing YOU, yes YOU my Labs and Bugoy.


Thanks to you guys, for making my day great.




Veradik, Adrian, Lee

Hanney, Lee

Hanney, Veradik

Single ladies: Veradik, Jane, Hanney, Lee

Lee, Adrian

Adrian, Veradik

L-R: Hanney, Jane, Lee

Love You Guys!

Happy Valentines My Labs!

It's better be late than never. Never forgotten it's a hearts day few days ago, Happy Valentines Labs ko.

Celebrating hearts day without you is very hard, seeing couples happy together everywhere. Knowing that I'll still count many more days to be with you on the day of hearts, the day of LOVERS.

I'm used to kiss you everyday, now even touching your lips it's a dream. I wan't to wishper to your ear how much I miss you, missing someone like you makes my heart ache.

Distance is our fate today, don't know how long are we gonna pray and dream for each other to stay togther and live forever.

I wanna be home, I wanna be with you.

I love you not only when it's hearts day, I love you everyday and forever.

I Love You Labs Ko!
I Love You Kirk Ko!

PAIN is subject of L-O-V-E

Love can be in many ways, love can be subject in our lives. Love can be so powerful, love can rule us. But L-O-V-E can give PAIN.

Have you ever wonder you’ll be hurt when you love? Of course not, all we know everything will be perfect when you love someone, and love can give us happiness in the end.

How will you say, that’s my “MAN” if he hurts you so bad? How will you explain he’ll not leave you, when he always walked away? How will you say, he loves you much, if your expecting nothing from him? How will you say, “please stay” if he doesn’t love you anymore?

How will you move on, in his LOVE? How?

Love causes more pain. The more we love, the more we get hurt. The question, are we still ready to get hurt and to love more? It’s only YOU’RE HEART can say that, it’s only YOU who can say… I CAN STILL LOVE despite of PAIN you caused me.

Set your HEART when you love again, don’t expect too much. Expect more friendship reletaionship between you and the guy, but don’t expect that he’ll LOVE YOU as you wish in him. Don’t expect that everything will be perfect ‘coz it can’t be perfect.

To you my dear friend, always remember… once in your life you cried because you LOVED someone. And now, I know your waiting for someone who will give LOVE to you, and I know your waiting. Just dont forget, “it can’t be love with out pain”.

Forget your past and learn for it, gurl.

Here’s a poem for you, you inspired me today and I wrote something from my heart for you. ‘Ope you like it.

PAIN

Looking back the memoirs, feeling so bliss
Knowing you is my gladness
Remembering all the days with you is my happiness
Loving you can be payless

I thought you’d love me, as me
Never thought I could be so empty
I consider You and Me will be true
Now I’m falling out of blue

We promised to say, I do
But where are you, now that I need you?
We promised that ‘till the end
We’ll sleep in one bed

How can I say nothing from you?
If I still love you
But what can I do?
I am not your beau

How can I move, if you’re still in my groove?
Thinking how can I live so freely, knowing that I’m so uneasy?
I want to be free and to love again
I’ll take this as a subject, to not fall out of love again


-vErAdiK-

featured song: Because Of You by Kyla

Is it Febuary yet? nah, too long to wait for Valentines Day. But for this week, my blog would be like celebrating "hearts day". You'll know the reason why I feel like soooooo inlove, soon you'll know. :)

For the introduction, our featured song of the week, Because Of You by Kyla. This song means a lot to me, a lot. A special song given by special someone, 5 years ago.

So corny to think, but so sweet for real.

Yeah, Because Of You... Because Of You.

Because Of You, I learned how to LOVE.

Because Of You by Kyla

If ever you wondered if you touched my soul, yes you do
Since I met you I'm not the same
You bring life to everything I do
Just the way you said hello
With one touch I can't let go
Never thought I'd fall in love with you

CHORUS
Because of you, my life has changed
Thank you for the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame
I'll tell the world it's because of you

Sometimes I get lonely and all I gotta do is think of you
You captured somethin' inside of me
You make all my dreams come true
It's not enough that you love me for me
You reached inside and touched me internally
I love you best explains how I feel for you

CHORUS
Because of you, my life has changed
Thank you for the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame

I'll tell the world it's because of you

My life has changed
Thank you for the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame
I'll tell the world it's because of you

BRIDGE
The magic in your eyes
True love I can't deny
When you hold me I just lose control
I want you to know that I'm never letting go
You mean so much to me, I want the world to see
It's because of you

CHORUS
Because of you, my life has changed
Thank you for the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame
I'll tell the world it's because of you

My life has changed
Thank you for the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame
I'll tell the world it's because of you

am waiting for your call...

Isang buwan narin akong ganito. Di mapakali pag ikay iniisip, di makatulog sa gabi sa sobrang pag iisip sa 'yo. Kapag wala nang laman ang utak ko ikaw agad ang susulpot, minsan ayaw na kitang isipin dahil akoy na hihirapan na. Ngunit kahit anong rason at iwas ko sa 'yo di ka nawawala sa aking isip. Habang tumatagal akoy nahihirapan.

Isang buwan na ang nakalipas nung sagutin kita, at isang buwan narin akong ganito. Di ma-intindihan ang sarili sa tuwing na iisip ka. Laging nag lalaro sa aking isipan kung may dapat ba akong ikatakot simula nung sinagot kita? May kelangan ba akong malaman? Kung meron man yun, sayo ko lang dapat itanong yun dahil ikaw at ikaw lang ang makakapag sabi nang lahat nang sagot sa bawat katanungan ko.

Wala akong idea sa lahat nang pangyayari basta ang alam ko kampante ako nung sinagot kita, kahit minsan iniisip ko kung naging tama ba sa lahat nang bagay na sagutin ka. Wala akong pagsisisi sa 'yo ang gusto ko lang marinig ka at malaman ang katotohanan. Ang mga katotohanang sagot sa mga tanong dito sa puso at isip ko.

Maraming nag tatanong bakit ako kinakabahan pag dating sa 'yo. Simple lang ang sagot, ayaw kong makita ko ang sarili kong nasasaktan, ayaw kong makita na talo ako dahil masakit yun. Mahirap bang intindihin yun?

Kelan ako magiging ganito? Kelan ka tatawag at kausapin ako? Kelan ko malalaman ang sagot na matagal ko nang inaasam na kukumpleto nang buhay ko? Kelan? Kelan? Ang sagot, di ko alam.

Alam ko malapit ka nang mag paramdam, alam ko parating na ang mga sagot na bumabagabag sa akin. At sana maging maganda ang resulta, sana di ako nabigo sa 'yo.

Am waiting for your call...

And I hope, as we talk soon... I can put smile on my face.

I just want to know, and I'm hoping that...............................

I PASSED THE NACC EXAM!

Hanggang ngayon wala paring tawag from school sa amin, If we did or we did not pass the licensure exam. I know, it's either this week or next week is the result.

I hope I/WE PASSED.

miss kita anak!

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!

mama misses you so much!

i love you bugoy ko!

have a nice weekend y'all guys...

trip ko lang...

Thursady, thursday, thursday... bored...bored...bored! Yeah, boredom strikes me again, unlike for the past days I can wrote 1 to 2 poems if I am bored but now it turns different.

Last week my cousin Timmy has her bangs already... her nanay cut her hair and put some, she look cute then. Never thought to put bangs too, but I did.

I just got my hair done, not with the help of salon expert but with my own innocent hands. Yep, while im lying down in my bed, listening music suddenly just woke up and grabbed my scissors, wet my hair and presto... snip snip snip, I snipped my hair all the way down.

As the result, I got my self into this...

Vain... vain... vain! Now, I'm so vain. lolz

Did I cut it right?

Did turn it all good?

I hope so.

long distance relationship...

Being alone here, away from someone you loved makes me crazy as ever. Yeah, I need to be physically, mentally and emotionally strong, even be wise in every temptations come along.

I can't deny the fact my emotions almost eat me. I can say I am weak, weak in a sense I easily fall in love to someone who used to be sweet and cares for me. I got so weak every time a guy put his emotions in me, it's so hard to put my weak emotions to someone else 'coz it's not right and never be right. Sweetness is one of my weakness 'coz I am a sweet person, it's hard to stop when both sweet individual meet together.

Those are just simple struggles of mine, having long distance relationship for about a year now. I'm not saying that I am beautiful, hot and attractive but when it comes to temptations they are all at my side it may be physically or emotionally.

It's so hard to fight all of those, it's hard to motivate your self when lonliness strikes you.

Every single day of our relationship I always think that everything will be fine, that we will be together so soon as a family. That all our hardships, sacrifices will turn into happy ending.

Ohhh, I want to share a poem composed by -vErAdIK-.

I made this poem out of this image caught by my camera at the bus terminal.

Kiss

Why I can’t do this?
To have a simple kiss
Eager to take a risk
Just to have a kiss

Kisses from your lips
Make me in the midst
Touch my lips
To sense the bliss

Kiss me; not in my cheeks
Instead in my lips
Strawberries are my lips
Sweet kisses from my tips

Let my lips tease
To make you freeze
Baby, say please
Just to have a kiss

-vErAdIK-

Happy weekend guys...

long distance relationship...

Everybody knows who that guy (Mark) is in my life. Everybody knows how much I loved him as much as he do. Everybody knows that I'm so into him. But everybody doesn't know how much I missed being intimate with Mark for the past 1 yr and 7mons.

I'm not stupid to say, I didn't miss Mark. If I have one chance, one wish tonight... my wish is to have ONE-NIGHT-STAND with him.

ONE-NIGHT -STAND
(vErAdIk)

Kelan kita huling nakita?
Alam ko pa ba ang iyong itsura?
Kelan ko ulit masisilayan ang iyong mukha?
Sana kahit isang gabi man lang, makita kita.

Kelan kita huling nakausap?
Kagabi lang diba?
Tila parang ang layo mo kapag kausap kita.
Kahit isang gabi man lang, makausap kita nang harapan.

Kelan kita huling kinagat?
May marka pa ba ang iyong braso?
Hanggang ngayon nangigigil parin ako.
Sana kahit isang gabi man lang, hayaan mo akong kagatin ka.

Kelan kita huling pinasaya?
Palagi naman diba?
Ang sarap nang pakiramdam na lagi kang masaya
Sana kahit man lang isang gabi, mapasaya kita dahil kasama mo ako.

Kelan kita huling pina-iyak?
Wag mo sabihing madalas.
Hindi ko kayang paiyakin ka mahal ko.
Sana kahit isang gabi man lang, magawa kitang pa-iyakin sa tuwa.

Kelan kita huling nakayakap?
Kasing higpit parin ba tulad nang dati ang yakap mo?
Gusto ko maramdaman ang yakap mo araw-araw.
Sana kahit isang gabi man lang, mag kayakap tayo sa dilim.

Kelan kita huling na halikan?
Kagabi lang diba? Goodbye kiss sa telepono.
Hindi sapat ang lahat, kulang.
Sana isang gabi man lang maramdaman ko ang labi mo sa labi ko, na tila ayaw mag pa-awat.

Kelan kita huling nakasama sa dilim?
Kilala mo pa ba kung sino tayo sa dilim?
Hinahanap ko ang init nang katawan mo, sa gabing malamig sa kinaroroonan ko.
Kahit isang gabi man lang, magkasama tayo sa dilim, magkayakap at masaya.

Kelan kita huling minahal?
Walang segundo na hindi kita minahal, walang araw na hindi ikaw ang laman nang puso ko.
Dahil ikaw at ikaw ang pag-ibig ko.
Sana kahit isang gabi man lang, masabi at maipakita ko sayo kung gaano kita ka mahal.

boredom strikes... "bloody heart"

It was ordinary Tuesday for me after all the pressures last few weeks. It was hot and humid day, I wake up so early and I need to start my day right at 5:30am.

Nothing new for today, I just spend my little time talking to my dearest hubby on the phone, that makes me happy knowing his fine. And of course, my day wont be complete if I can't hear the "angelic voice" of my son Kirk, answering the phone and shouting "MAMAAAAAAAAAAAA" that really makes me complete throughout the day and completes my boring life here.

OH! my afternoon was boring, I can't take a little nap, I just laid my body on the bed and played my dvd instead. Boredom really strikes me again.

I just grabbed my pen and notebook and gotcha, I just made another piece.

BLOODY HEART

Thick, sweet and so red

From my heart's deeply wounded

So fresh and so flesh

Only you can refresh

It's you who wants my heart

To stop bleeding apart

I want you in my bed

Laid in my heart's very wounded

If I'm bleeding

I'm just wounded

If I'm not breathing

I'm just out of my head

Bloody heart, Oh! bloody heart

Cure your heart

Beg you to stop

Killing your heart

-vErAdIk-

let's call it a DAY...

Feeling so high don't know why, can you tell me why?

High in your smile, makes me inspire

I don't know what's in you, Im shaking when thinking of you

Time to say bye with your smile

Don't know when I can say that's mine

Let' Call It A Day
-vErAdIk-

---

---

---

---

---

---

---

After my tiring day with my exam, I am totally knock out didn't notice I fell as sleep.

As I woke up, I feel I'm so empty and looking for someone who can hug and kiss me and bring my self back again. Unfortunately, no one can hug and kiss me this time when I needed it most. Grabbed my mouse and keyboard, open my computer and I am here, I just BLOG IT OUT!

Now can you give me a kiss and a hug? Whoever you are.

Just stay anonymous and I'll be glad you did it for me, now you feel me much better.

long distance relationship...

Everyone wants everything to be perfect (including me). Everyone wants to be happy in a perfect way but we always failed because... Everything is not perfect, is it true right??

In my whole life having relationship with guys ngayon lang ako nahirapan nang husto, making our relationship perfect. Ako yung tipo na easy go lucky sa relationship, if he wants then I want, if he dont like it then I dont like it too.

In 4yrs of relationship with Mark (fiance), ngayon lang kami nagkahiwalay. We used to be wih each other every single day nung nasa Pinas pa ako, kaya nman sobrang nahirapan ako mag adjust when I need to leave him and our baby.

Having LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP!! wow, ang hirap!

You cant see him, you cant touch him, you cant see his all actions at lahat... only the word TRUST TO EACH OTHER ang palaging nakikita, nahahawakan at nararamdaman. If the TRUST is in good terms sa relationship everything follows, the LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, and so on.

Mark and I, as a couple for 4 yrs we are not used to have big issue. Ngayon lang talaga kami nagkakaroon nang big fights, minsan ibaba na lang ang telepono masama pa ang loob sa isat-isa... ang hirap kaya nun. Pero ika nga nila,
"hindi masaya ang isang relasyun kung walang rambol, hindi maging matatag kung walang away to test your relationsip",and its true.

Emot nanaman ako, hayzzzz... buhayzzzz!

Nung una pa man, I am used to put my all emotions in poems. I am poetess ika nga nang friend kong Canadian.

Kayo na ang mag sabi, whats with us right now. Basta ang alam ko, where still strong but may mga pangyayari talaga na sadyang pumapasok sa isang relasyun para subukan kung hanggang saan ang pag-iibigan nang magsing-irog.

I made a poem base on my emotion and the things happening with us.

STATUS

I feel were apart

Coz I feel I'm not that important

I feel so terrible

When you say, Your not available

I can't touch you anymore

Thinking how long it will take more

Giving my best, to have you in my heart

Just to feel were not falling apart

Do I need to ask, whats wrong with us?

Do I need to guess, whats in this mess?

I want to ask, I want to guess

I want to save this relationship for best

Baby, before its too late

I want to know your my fate

Dont give me hate

Coz I dont want to be failed

-vErAdIk-

IM SORRY! "you can't blame me"

"You Cant Blame Me!"

You can't blame me, bakit sumama ang loob ko sayo.

You can't blame me, bakit putak ako nang putak.

You can't balme me, bakit grabe ako mag isip.

You can't balme me, bakit sobra akong mag alala.

You can't blame me, coz I love you so much.

IM SORRY!

Im sorry for what I've said

Im sorry for what I've done

Im sorry for what I think about you

Im sorry, I just can't stop thinking of you.

Marami akong nasabi because of what happen, akala ko I said it right. Akala ko all my thoughts are good, akala ko tama lang na magalit ako because hindi niya na tupad ang usapan. Akala... puro na lang akala, mamamatay ako sa daming akala.

I admitt, nakakaloka mag antay sa wala. But no one can blame me bakit nagagalit ako, ilang oras ba naman akong pag antayin sa wala, talagang sasabog utak ko.

Hindi ako naka tiis, I called Mark. And talking to him makes me feel good bout what happen. Now I know bakit di siya nakapag online, and I'm so guilty feeling like this, nagagalit wala sa lugar. But he said sory din for not being around last wednesday.

Ayan, bati na kami ulit. Ang kulet namin, para kaming bata... away- bati. It feels good pag galing sa rambol, ubod nang sweet ang lalaki ko, parang siya na ang babae sa amin.

Theres always a reason for everything. I love you Labs.

waiting for NOTHING! asar!

Communication yan ang numero uno sa listahan, yan ang main problem namin. Ang hirap hagilapin ang lalaki ko, hindi ko alam kung saan at anong oras ko siyang makakausap, asar!

Long distance relationship conversation...

date/time: Tuesday 7am(Pinas time) - Monday 7pm(Canada time)

Frontdesk: Estosan Garden Hotel gud morning!
adik: Hello, can I talk to Mark?
Frontdesk: Hold on Ma'am, connecting to Jurella Cafe...
adik: Thank You

Lalaki ko: Hello...
adik: Hello, hoy Labs!
Lalaki ko: hoy hoy, musta na Mama Tine?
: miss u mama
: bat ngaun ka lang tumawag?
: love you mama
adik: ok lang ako labs!
: miss u too
: love you labs!
: musta na ang bugoy ko? ikaw musta kana?
Lalaki ko: ok lang si Kirk, ayun bugoy na anak mo!
adik: saan pa ba mag mana yan e di sa tatay na ubod nang bugoy! (giggle)
Lalaki ko: OO, bugoy at least gwapo kami nang bugoy mo! (epal nang mukha, lolz)
: ikaw? musta kana? ano na itsura mo ngaun mama?
adik: okie dokie lang ako!
: eto nothing new labs, sexy and maganda parin asawa mo! (isa pang epal ang mukha, hehehe)
Lalaki ko: talaga! dati ka nmang sexy e, kagigil ka na siguro mama! (bastos talaga tong lalaking to!)
adik and Lalaki---- nag uusap nang serysohan!!!!

adik: teka teka labs, kelan tayo ulit chat? miss na kita e!
Lalaki ko: hmmm, cge chat tayo Wednesday 8pm Pinas Time!
adik: so, Wednesday 8am Canada time??
Lalaki ko: opo, Mama... antayin mo lang ako ha?
adik: ok labs, antayin lang kita...
Lalaki ko: mama, dont forget the ano ha?
adik: ano daw??
Lalaki ko: dont forget the pictures! (ang kuletsss)
adik: pictures?? anong pictures?? hehehe yah yah! got it labs! (isa pang makulet)
Lalaki ko: love you mama
adik: love you too labs

adik: o pano yan, 1 minute na lang, baka maputol bigla to (foncard lang kasi gmit ko, hehehe)
Lalaki ko: cge Mama, love you
adik: love you too, miss u
Lalaki ko: kiss lang kita kay bugoy
: ingats ka jan mama
: ok lang kmi ni bugoy
adik: kau din jan, ingats kayo!
: i love you
TOT-TOT-TOT-TOT (ubos na ang card, the end)

WEDNESDAY 6am Canada time ---- ONLINE NA AKO! waiting for Mark!

... preparing the pictures he requested, kulets!

... blogging while waiting!

... 7:45 uy, malapit na ang 8 (excited)

... 8:30 bakit wala pa siya??? (kunot nuo)

... 9:00 still waiting (inis na ako)

... 11:00 wala parin (init na ulo ko!)

... 12:30 S***!!!

YOU KEEP ME FROM WAITING, B******T IM TIRED OF IT!

i decided to turn off my YM and the computer and go to sleep, waiting for nothing gives me headache and heartache!

im sorry Mark!

i feel nothing... "paramdam ka naman!"

-labsMarko-




10:20 pm I want to sleep...







I cant sleep coz im so sick...







thinking of nothing...







feeling so shit!...







its hard to think of you...







coz there's nothing Hello's from you...







I tried to reach you...







Your out of reach when i feel to say I LOVE YOU!...




"paramdam ka naman!"




... kc miss kita nang sobra, di ko alam kung na miss mo ba ako, almost a week na tayong walang communication, im not used it!
... i tried to understand this situation, but i cant. my mind keeps on thinking stupid and im scared that my thoughts would be true, please dont!



mahal na mahal kita!




na miss lang kita kaya emot nanaman ako... (crying)




-mamaTine-